Several times now I’ve had a bunch of things that come to mind that I want to write about and update you on… and also I want to continue using this site to share experiences since I’m still paying for it! If I don’t pay, all my content on here will go away and that would just be sad.
Where to start? Remember that beautiful apartment in Chittenango, New York? The one I moved to at the end of April? Yea, well apparently that wasn’t really meant to be….at least for very long. Three weeks after moving to the town over from where I grew up, I was laid off due to a COVID-related workforce reduction. Tough nuts.
Over the course of the next six weeks, I looked for jobs, went hiking, biking, spent some time at camp, pondering life and trying to figure out what I could do with the money I had saved. But it’s not enough to do anything too big and more than enough for a sweet vacation. But, oh wait: COVID has the world on lock-down. I would have loved to jet off to New Zealand to spend some amazing time doing a chunk of the Te Araroa or multiple great walks… but nope. That wouldn’t have worked anyway really because their winter was in full swing by then.
My parents suggested that I take the summer off and look for a job in the fall. But: COVID’s got the economy a little shaky and I’m stubborn so I keep looking for jobs. (Darn – they were right again!)
Had a few interviews in the Syracuse area. I didn’t want to move because I loved my apartment in Chittenango and I had JUST signed a lease three weeks before. But none of those interviews/opportunities were panning out. I had a really good couple of interviews with Welch Allyn/HillRom in Skaneateles which I was pretty excited about but that didn’t pan out either, unfortunately.
I had a couple other interviews through some recruiters who had contacted me. One position was in Springfield, VA and another in Annapolis Junction, MD. Both were pretty good opportunities! I decided against the one in northern VA only because it was as, if not more, crowded than New Jersey and I CANNOT do that again! While I was checking out the Springfield area, I got a call and the job in Annapolis Junction (AJ) was offered to me.
So, before leaving the area, I spent most of a day meeting the recruiter in AJ, exploring the area, looking for potential housing; same routine that I’ve done too many times now. Get a job, look for housing, find housing, move, work, move, work, move….hahaha, you get the picture. I’m getting tired of moving my life and all the hardware that we use to support it.
After looking at some apartments, driving home and thinking about things over the course of Tuesday and Wednesday, I realized I should have stayed in MD/VA for a day or two more. So I drove back MD, looked at more apartments, and then went to my Aunt’s house in Northern VA to spend the night. I was wrecked by the end of the day – emotionally and physically exhausted and barely holding it together.
I walked into her house, went into the bedroom I would be staying in which was pitch dark with the light off, and collapsed onto the bed…sobbing. “I DON’T WANT TO MOVE!!” is racing around my head. “WHY DO I HAVE TO MOVE!?!?!” My Aunt finally came in to check on me and tell me dinner was ready and asked if everything was alright and I had already figured out what I was going to say: “I’m just trying to pull myself together”; but it wasn’t working. Thanks for helping me pull it together Aunt Karen!
The apartment that I settled on was the best location, nicest looking community I had visited. I was never a huge fan of the inside of the apartment but was going to have to work. Why am I not a fan you ask… because it’s a very shaded corner of the building leaving the kitchen and living room so dark and dim that my plants have a hard time living, even next to the window. The lighting they do provide leaves some lumens to be desired. If I bought about five flood lamps with LED it might brighten this place up, but then I wouldn’t want to leave them on all the live-long day so it would still be dark. It’s easy to get depressed when there isn’t much natural sunlight beaming into living space. I won’t be living at this location for more than a year if I have anything to say about it.
I’ve been here now since the end of July. Time has flown by. I am a project coordinator and I actually love it! I get to work with everyone on the team to some degree. I get to directly help the people that I work with in some way or another. It was a contract-to-hire position and next week, I transition over to become an employee of the company which is prime for the project I’m on.
I thank the Lord (almost) every day for this job and for the courage to push through the fear and anxiety I had while moving to Maryland. I’ve never had trouble moving away from home. The fear and anxiety was almost paralyzing. I was not expecting this “scared little girl” version of me and neither were my parents. The only way I can sum up my fear is: fear of disaster. Fear of my vision getting worse causing the need to move back home probably and if I can’t see, then I couldn’t be of much help in moving all my stuff. Fear of natural disaster and being alone. Nobody forced me to move here; if anything, I forced myself. Forcing myself out of my comfort zone which I seem to do quite a bit.
It was also hard moving away because I knew my parents would be alone in CNY. I was planning to stay nearby so that when my little sister went to the Navy, they would still have one child who was only a few minutes away instead of a day’s drive, or a more expensive flight, away. But this was not to be and I’m sorry Mom and Dad.
Living in Maryland has been quite lonely; I’m not going to lie. I usually don’t have trouble making friends or being on my own. But I’m having to accept the fact that my priorities (friends, goals, companionship, etc) have changed; I’ve changed. It was really hard leaving the friendships that had been rekindled and strengthened. It’s not as easy to make friends when you want to and do spend quiet time in nature every Sabbath and are not going out to restaurants or rock climbing gyms too often because of COVID. I’ve been rocking climbing a bit lately and have met a couple nice people, but no real friendships have been struck yet. I do have one good friend, a coworker that I have dinner with every now and then. She’s super cheerful and we hit it off immediately when I “onboarded” her. “Will you be my friend?”
Working remotely is HARD! To have effective communication, it seems like such a huge effort. When I think about it, I have a fleeting feeling that I could write a dissertation on communication in the time of COVID. But I know as soon as I sat down to write, all my “ideas” would disappear and I’d end up sitting there like the “Thinker” statue… “I’m thinkin…. I’m thinkinnnnn…” “It’s not happening with her.” Nope. Also, when I’m not living near friends and family, work people become my family. It’s hard to develop close relationships when everyone is remote and most of your communication is in virtual team meetings where not everyone shows their faces and you don’t talk about stuff outside of work.
My eyes and vision have been stable, thank the Lord. I have a doctors appointment this coming week. I’ll be doing the usual visual field tests, OCT and another type of images taken of my eyes to see the condition of my optic nerves and retinas. The doctor also needs to order an annual MRI which will end up being a year and a half since my last one due to the job change. I’m very interested to see if anything has changed between the ears.
Another change that I realized and hit me a week or so ago is: now that my parents are empty nesters, they’ve been hoeing out the house left and right which is fine. I’m all for it. We’re obviously in different phases of life; they’re sort of un-preparing for life and adventures with kids and I’m preparing for whatever life and God’s plan has for me. They’re getting rid of stuff and I’m over here setting up house (technically apartment still) but that’s not the point. The point is: even the essentials of living in an apartment add up to a lot of stuff which you only realize when you move and then you think “Goodness I need to get rid of some of this stuff!”
On another note, I’ve reviewed a lot of my pictures taken this year and I should be able to create another pretty sweet Broadening Perspectives Adventures calendar for 2021. Because 2020 has been so challenging, I’m wondering if folks would be open to having a Bible verse for each month. I’ve had a few Bible verses that really helped me this year so I would share those and would find other meaningful ones to add. Let me know your thoughts through comments on this post or be email.
I’ll add some pictures from between May and now.
Thanks for reading everyone. Sorry it’s been so long again. No major adventures being thought about or planned right now. It’ll be a while until I save up any significant vacation time. Keep in touch my peeps and be safe. Love you all!
2 thoughts on “#Adulting v2 (Change is the constant and loneliness is possible)”
Anna it was nice to see your post. Sorry from your job loss and move. Moving is so hard. Moses have now been in the same location for 10 years. We have never stayed in one location that long!! We tend to start looking for excapes routes because we have a strong urge to move every couple of years and it’s really hard to fight that urge off and stay put. Have you heard from Avni? I need to get her eMail address so I can in touch. Well you take care and I will keep you in my prayers
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You’ve had a busy year Anna! If you want some company on the weekends, let me know. Bible verses on the calendar would be awesome.
Love to you- Aunt Karen